Tips from the Trenches for Launching a Successful School Year

Getting on Track Academically for a Successful School Year

Checking in with school (guidance) counselors and teachers, helping your teenager establish a daily routine, carving out family time, and putting limits on screen time are several of the things that parents should be focusing on in the first couple of months of school, according to educators, parents, and a pediatrician interviewed for this article.

Goldman says that the most common outreach from parents and students during the first months of school are the “change my class, change my teacher, change my level,” entreaties. Resist the temptation to “fix” your child’s problems by demanding these changes, advises Goldman. “It’s hard, because as a parent you don’t like seeing your kid come home in tears; it’s painful to see them struggling even though you realize that your child needs to become an independent adult,” says Goldman.

He urges parents to help their children think of ways they can solve their own problems, and to step in only when things begin to unravel. “What helps them grow and what’s best for their college and career readiness is to help your child develop the coping skills to handle these situations,” says Goldman.

Virginia Beach school counselor coordinator Tracy Jackson is accustomed to seeing kids and parents panic during the third month of school. Because the first nine weeks are typically a review of what students learned the year before, they often find themselves receiving outstanding grades during that period, explains Jackson. “Then suddenly they’re getting a C or a D. It’s totally new content. They’ve never seen this material before. Don’t freak out. The kids will learn it and master it.”

Reaching Out to Teachers

Like school counselor Goldman, Anthony Gabriele, a former English teacher, appreciated it when parents reached out to him during the first months of school. “Don’t wait until school conference time,” says Gabriele, who now works as an instructional coach in Glen Mills, PA. “Just say, ‘Hello. Here are a few things you should know about my kid. Here’s what my kid likes. Here’s what he responds well to. Here are his strengths and weaknesses.’ You have 125 kids and you’re trying to get to know all of them. Anything from the parent’s angle is helpful.” Gabriele says it’s also good to know a little about the parents, for instance, if the mother is working multiple jobs and doesn’t have time to answer e-mails immediately. With a relationship established, it makes dealing with challenges down the road that much easier, he adds.

Creating a Schedule

A month or so into the school year Beth Altman, the mother of 10th grader Abby and two college-age girls, is making sure they’re back on a good homework and sleep schedule. “I’m monitoring them to some extent, really pushing them to go to bed at a reasonable hour and not letting them sleep forever on the weekends,” says Altman, who lives in Merion Station, PA. “I’m also trying to be more consistent with scheduling dinner, although that can be a challenge when they play sports.” Altman admits that there have been times when she was serving dinner at 6:30, 7:30, and 9:30 p.m. because of sports schedules and her husband’s work hours.

Chilling and talking

Providing a predictable, stable environment and helping your kids with time management are important, says instructional coach Gabriele, but don’t forget to build time into their packed schedules for pure relaxation. “They need a break, whether it’s a video game, quiet time, walk around the neighborhood, or reading for pleasure,” says Gabriele. “Make sure every day is not the same grind.”

Having regular face time with your teenager is also very important. “Ask them what they’re reading, what they saw on the news, what they painted in art, what’s going on in school, what they’re excited about,” says Gabriele. When he was a classroom teacher, it was often obvious which students had parents who engaged with them intellectually. “They have a level of comfort talking to adults, they’re curious, they have opinions, and they’re comfortable in their role as a student. They think that being smart and talking about smart stuff is cool.”

Seattle pediatrician Cora Breuner, M.D., urges parents to check in with their kids about their emotional health as well. Depression and anxiety can be expressed through high-risk behavior like unprotected sex and binge drinking, cautions Dr. Breuner, who specializes in adolescent pediatrics at the University of Washington. “They’re crying for help when they’re doing these high-risk things,” says Dr. Breuner. “They need resources that go beyond Facebook friends telling them they’re OK. They may require a mental health professional to talk to.”

Talking About Transitions

There’s another kind of conversation Dr. Breuner advises parents have with their young teenagers in particular—the dreaded one about you-know-what. The summer between seventh and eighth grade is when physical changes can be huge, especially for boys, who are having their big growth spurt and typically go through puberty about two years later than girls,” according to Dr. Breuner. “Try to sit down with your 12-year- old boy and bring up the changes in an open-ended way. Feel it out. Ask them if they have any questions about their bodies. Would they rather talk about it with their father?”

“These are also conversations that teenagers can have with their pediatrician, but the fact is that many kids go missing from primary care providers’ offices once they’re done with their childhood vaccines at age 7,” says Dr. Breuner. “They should still be coming in every year to have their basic health monitored. Most of the appointment will be discussing physical changes and safety, including using seat belts and helmets.”

Monitoring Electronics Use

The beginning of the school year is also a good time to tighten up and clearly lay out the rules about electronics use, according to Dr. Breuner. For young people ages 12 and older, they should have no more than two hours a day of non-educational screen time, which includes cell phones, television, and computers. In her house, there is a 10 p.m. curfew for electronics use. She has no compunction about unplugging the router and hiding it in her bedroom when her three kids are noncompliant. And there’s no better way to drive home the importance of limiting screen time than by modeling the same behavior, she says. Dr. Breuner does not believe in monitoring a child’s social networking activity unless they give you reason to do so.

Her last piece of advice? Make sure your teen gets 8-10 hours of sleep each night.

By Rebecca Rosenthal